It doesn't matter what you wish
by JennnyJ
Summary: What if he was no prince? What if he got the chance to be an ordinary guy, living in the lower town with his mother and father, if the only thing he had to do was to say the magical word? When the opportunity is given, does Arthur Pendragon take it? A/G
1. prolouge

Title; _It doesn't matter what you wish - you'll never cease being who you are_

Author: _JennnyJ_

Pairing(s): _Arthur/Guinevere, Guinevere/Lancelot, slight Merlin/Morgana and Merlin/Freya_

_A.N. All the characters belongs to BBC, I'm just borrowing them for a while_

* * *

"Wait, say that again," the crown prince requested, turning around in the bed so that he could see his manservant who sat on the floor, his both legs crossed, reading from an ancient book.  
Merlin looked at him with his blue, questioning eyes.  
"Why would you like to know how to treat warts? That's like one of the simplest spells ever," the young boy said, raising his eyebrows just like Gaius used to do.  
"Not that one," Arthur sighed, his eyes shining as he climbed down the bed to sit next to his friend; "the one with wishes."  
The black haired boy shrugged and turned back to the requested page before he offered him the book so that he could read it himself.  
It took time for the young prince to make out what was written and while Merlin waited, he rose to his feet and walked over to the window.

A heavy rain was falling from the sky, making the streets of Camelot muddy and everywhere he looked, people was running from house to house, trying not to get wet.  
"Do you know what's going on down there?" Merlin asked as he saw how the town's baker was running over to the sewer's house. "People are running around like confused hens."  
"Mhm", Arthur's voice came floating through the room, too captured by the book to really hear what the servant asked "Midsummer festival. Tonight. Father would make some-"  
Merlin turned around as his master stopped in the middle of a sentence. The blond prince sat with his nose almost touching the old paper, the shadow of a smile resting upon his lips.  
"Do you really think you can use every spell in this book?" He asked, looking at his manservant with big eyes. "I mean; _everyone_?"

Merlin nodded before he leaned his head to one side.  
"Why do you ask?" He wondered.  
Arthur shrugged as he closed the book and got to his feet's.  
"I'll tell you when the time is right; after my father has opened the midsummer festivals," the blond crown prince said, walking over to his closet in the search for a clean shirt. "I think I can dress myself tonight, you may leave me."  
Merlin hid the book in a bag before he headed over to the door, his eyebrows drawn together in confusion. He didn't like when Arthur kept secrets from him.  
"Oh and Merlin, -"  
The young servant stopped with his hand resting on the doorknob, the only thing he heard was how the warm summer rain were pitching the window; "Yes, sir?"  
" Come to my chambers before midnight and bring the book, I want to try something."  
Merlin nodded and left the room. Back at Gaius' place, he searched for the page about wishes that Arthur had been asking for and he got even more confused when he saw what it was all about.

* * *

_Please leave a review if you want to read more, I promise you; things will get better.  
Hugs, Jenn_


	2. chapter one, part one

_Chapter one; part one_

Title; _It doesn't matter what you wish - you'll never cease being who you are  
_  
Author: _JennnyJ_

Pairing(s): _Arthur/Guinevere, Guinevere/Lancelot, slight Merlin/Morgana and perhaps some Merlin/Freya_

_A.N. All the characters belongs to BBC, I'm just borrowing them for a while_

* * *

Arthur walked through the ballroom, his hands resting on his back.  
"Do you need anything, my lord?" He turned around as he recognised Gwen's voice.  
As usual, he seemed to drown in her beautiful, brown eyes and her smile weakened his knees.  
"No, thank you", he said and without thinking, he leaned forward to place a dark curl behind her ear. "_Guinevere_"  
The young maid blushed at his touch and lowered her head so that her eyes met the floor.

"I don't think that's right, my lord", she said as she took a few, stumbling steps backwards. "Not here, not where everyone can see."  
Arthur sighed and couldn't help glancing towards the table of honour where his father sat with his goblet held in a firm grip.  
Morgana was nowhere to be seen so he assumed that she'd joined the dancing.  
"Then, when is it right, Guinevere?" He whispered with his voice filled with hurt.  
He didn't like to hide it. As if he was ashamed of her. As if his feelings for her wasn't real enough to fight for. She was worth more than that.

"I don't know, my lord", she said before she curtseyed and started to walk away.  
As so many times before, Arthur Pendragon raised an arm to stop her.  
"When you do", he said, looking deeply into her eyes. "Please let me know."  
Guinevere didn't answer but smiled slightly before she curtseyed again and left him alone.

With a sigh Arthur walked back to the table of honour and sat down beside his father. Placing his chin in his hands, he watched how the whole room seemed to move as hundreds of colourful dresses danced before his eyes.  
"Arthur, I need to talk to you", his father said, leaning forward so his warm breath fanned against Arthur's face. He had already drunken too much.  
"It may come as an surprise but as your twenty-first birthday approaches you need to-"  
But the King didn't finish his sentence as the main doors burst open and all the dancing stopped.

"What is this?" The young prince asked with his eyebrows drawn together. He rose to his feet's, hoping he would get a better look of what was happening down there.  
Uther followed his son's example and smiled broadly as he saw the elder man who had entered the room, water dripping from his red, wild grown beard.  
"Sir Hector!" The king announced, making his way around the table and towards the nobleman with his arms outstretched. "You are late, old friend."  
The nobleman's answer got lost as a scream filled the air.  
Everyone's attention moved towards the girl who were screaming in anger as someone, Arthur bit his lip as he recognised the purple dress of Guinevere's, had spilt drink over the newcomers green dress.

Before anyone got the chance to blame the poor maid for what's happened, Arthur made his way through the shocked crowd – placing himself in front of the tear-filled girl with dark curls who kept whispering apologizing words.  
"I'm so sorry milady", he said, trying to calm the red-haired girl. "Let me help you-"  
He turned around to once again meet Gwen's dark eyes.  
"Guinevere, do you think you can get a cloak from the lady Morgana's chambers?" He glanced towards the newcomer who finally started to calm down.  
"And do you think you can find something that matches her dress?"  
Guinevere nodded, her eyes filled with thankfulness before she hurriedly left the room followed by the prince's concerned look.

"Such a clumsy maid, she should have been punished", the red-haired girl complained with a frown as her father led her towards the table of honour.  
Arthur who walked behind them tried not to grimace when he heard how they spoke of Gwen.  
"Hush my dear, no blemish in the world can affect your beauty", her father said as he looked significantly at Arthur.  
The young prince smiled stiffly and bowed before he held out a chair for the young girl.

"Thank you, milord", she said with fluttering eyelashes. "Perhaps you will take me on a ride through Camelot as soon as the weather gets better?"  
"That would be an honour, milady", Arthur bowed once again as he returned to his own chair, as far away from the nobles as he could get.  
Then, Uther raised his goblet and the music stopped, everyone's attention was drawn to their table and the newcomers.  
Arthur could see how Morgana stood among the dancer's, her eyebrows drawn together in unliking.

"I present to you, Sir Hector and his beautiful daughter lady Fiona", applauds filled the room as both nobles rose from their chairs so that everyone could see them.  
"May their visit here be fruitful"  
The King sat down again and the newcomers followed his example.  
Soon, the music started to play and the dancing continued.  
Uther leaned closer to Arthur, taking a sip from his goblet.

"I expect you to start courting the lady Fiona", he whispered, a stern look in his eyes as he watched his son.  
"It's time for you to consider marriage and her father will be very good for Camelot."  
Arthur stared at his father with a doubtful look in his blue eyes.  
"You want me to marry _her_?" He whispered with an upset voice, looking at the red-haired girl who talked to one of the knights, giggling and twirling her hair.  
"I don't love her and surely she doesn't love me!"  
"_Love_!" The king exclaimed, leaning back in his throne. "Surely you don't believe in such things, children story's and fairytales, that what it is."

Arthur shook his head, he saw how Guinevere walked through the room towards their table, carrying a silver cloak in her arms, and he could swear that his heart stopped for a while.  
"So you didn't love my mother?" He asked, turning the attention back to his father.  
"Of course I did", Uther said, taking yet another sip from his goblet. "But that is what I learned after many years and that's what you also have to do."  
"I won't do it", Arthur whispered and rose from his chair, preparing to leave.

But the king rammed his hand in the table, looking at him with fiery eyes.  
The conversations around the table stopped and every noble's eyes turned to the two royals.  
"You will marry her, _as I command_!"  
From the corner of his eye, Arthur could see how something died in Guinevere's beautiful eyes as she offered the cloak to the lady Fiona.

He bit his lip, not wanting her to hear that. Not wanting to break her heart.  
"You can treathen me with whatever you want, I'll never marry without love"  
And without any other word, Arthur left the table and made his way through the crowd – he needed to get as far away from his father and the nobles as he could get.  
Hopefully, Merlin would be in his chambers and the two of them could set his plan in work; _now, more than ever, he wished for a change._

* * *

_First of all, I want to thank all of you who reviewed the prolouge - you have no idea what that meant for me!  
Now, I just wish that you take some time to review this chapter too! (if it wasn't for you reviewers, I dunno when this part would have been written!)  
So, what do you think of this story? Please let me know!  
Hugs, Jenn_


	3. chapter one, part two

_Chapter one; part two_

Title; _It doesn't matter what you wish - you'll never cease being who you are  
_  
Author: _JennnyJ_

Pairing(s): _Arthur/Guinevere, Guinevere/Lancelot, slight Merlin/Morgana and perhaps some Merlin/Freya_

_A.N. All the characters belongs to BBC, I'm just borrowing them for a while_

* * *

"Where have you been, you clumsy goat? I've been waiting for ages", Arthur asked as he rose from his chair.  
"Clumsy goat?" Merlin smiled and put his bag onto the wooden table. "And what has happened to turn you in such dark mood where you can come up with nothing better?"

Arthur clenched his jaws and didn't answer.  
"Oh come on, it can't be that bad", Merlin said, leaning against one of the thrown looking chairs.  
"My father wants me to marry the lady Fiona", there was no emotion in the prince's voice but Merlin could tell how much it hurt to say it out loud. "And I cannot, because-"

"Because you love Guinevere", both of them knew that it was no question.  
After a moment, Arthur nodded.  
"Yes. Yes I do"  
Then, he shook his head and a determined look appeared in his face.  
"Well, were do you have the book?" He asked, already reaching out for the bag where he knew that Merlin kept it.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" The young servant asked with a concerned look, "You know that wishes are difficult things, it never turns out as you've planned."  
"I've never been as sure of this as I am tonight", Arthur answered, flipping pages 'til he came to the one he'd read only a few hours ago.

"Can you do me the honour and tell me about your plans before I help you?"  
The prince looked at him for a long time, his eyes filled with a sort of tiredness.  
"I'm wishing that I was no prince, that I could be normal", he whispered before he shoved the book to Merlin's side of the table. "Now do what you must."

But Merlin just stared at him, his eyebrows drawn together in wary.  
"Do you know what consequences that can give?" He asked after a while, placing himself on a chair.  
"Yes, I do", the prince said between his teeth, "you can use your magic without being sentenced to your death, the people of Camelot can live with a greater king that care more about them than he does about his enemies and I can-"  
He stopped and shook his head as a redness started to spread over his cheeks.

"And I can be with Guinevere", he looked at his servant with begging eyes. "Perhaps, my mother will be there too."  
Merlin met his pleading eyes and couldn't help but give in.  
"If I do this – you can't blame me if you doesn't like how it turns out"  
"You have my word as a prince" Arthur rose to his feet's, his hands clasping together.

"Well, that promise won't hold for so long", Merlin muttered as he leaned forward to read what they'd needed. "Do you have enough lavender for this?"  
"I thought you'd ask", Arthur smiled and pointed towards a corner where he'd placed a basket filled with the lilac flower. "Guinevere picked them for me this morning"  
Merlin laughed and walked to pick up the basket. "That will be perfect, we better do this back at Gaius's"

Just before midnight, Merlin was done with the potion and Arthur who first had been sitting quietly on Gaius's bed, watching as his servant worked, was now walking around in the physician's room talking widely about how great it would be.

"Are you ready then?" Merlin scooped the dark liquid into a cup and reached it to the blond prince. Before he let him take it, he smiled vaguely. "It was nice being you servant, perhaps we meet again."  
Arthur smiled vaguely, for the first time realizing that he might not see his servant again.  
"Well, I'm sorry I can't say ditto", he laughed and swallowed the potion without hesitating.

First, he couldn't make out any difference and was about to complain to his pale manservant. But as the bells of Camelot called for midnight, a white light started to spread over his view and soon, he sank to the ground, his empty eyes staring on the wall.

"Oh my god, what have I done?" Merlin's eyes were filled with fright as he kneeled beside the unmoving prince. "Arthur!"  
_There came no answer._

* * *

_I want to thank all of you who reviewed the first part of this two-parted chapter - you have no idea what that meant to me! If it wasn't for you guys, I wouldn't have written this part as soon as I actually did (usually, it takes weeks for me to write anything at all)  
Now, I just hope that you take some time to review this chapter too!  
So, what do you think of this story? Please let me know! I can promise you that more is to come!  
Hugs, Jenn_


	4. chapter two, part one

__

__

_Chapter two; part one_

Title; _It doesn't matter what you wish - you'll never cease being who you are  
_  
Author: _JennnyJ_

Pairing(s): _Arthur/Guinevere, Guinevere/Lancelot, slight Merlin/Morgana and perhaps some Merlin/Freya_

A.N. All the characters belongs to BBC, I'm just borrowing them for a while

_

* * *

_

Arthur moaned and turned around as the bright sunlight hit him right in the face.

Arthur sat up in his bed and shock marked his face when his blue eyes travelled around the unknown room.

No, not room, he corrected himself; it was a small house.  
And before him, with a soft smile upon her lips, stood an elder woman with the same blond hair as he had.

The fair-haired woman laughed before she put a gentle hand on his forehead.  
"Well, you have fever my dear", Ygraine declared before she turned around and walked over to the fireplace where it seemed as she were cooking. "But you are certainly not dead. You are just as your father – feeling a bit sick and both of you think it will kill you."

Arthur couldn't help smiling as he leaned back and watched his mother as she worked with their supper; her soft voice reaching him with a familiar song.

"Father used to sing that song to me when I was little", he remembered and Ygraine sent him a warm look over her shoulder.  
"He used to do a lot when you were little", she added some herbs to the soup. "Now go back to sleep and I'll wake you when dinner is ready."

Arthur didn't want to sleep, he didn't want her do disappear. But he could feel how his eyelids got heavier and heavier and when he yawned, he couldn't push the sleep away any longer.  
"I'm glad you're here, mother", he whispered before he fell asleep.

_.._  
_In his dreams, Arthur where lying on a hard wooden bench. He wasn't able to move, not his legs or arms nor his eyelids or lips. He couldn't even hear his heart beat._  
_"Gaius, what will I do?" The desperate voice sounded familiar but Arthur's mind was so obscurely that couldn't place it._

_"It's my fault – if I hadn't been so stupid"_  
_And then, as if someone where leaning over his limp body, crying, Arthur could feel how something saturated his tunic. He tried to calm down whoever it was laying over him, tell him that he was safe with his mother now, but he couldn't find any breath to shape words of._  
_.._

"Arthur"

It wasn't his mother's voice this time and with his heart in his throat, Arthur opened his eyelids to find his father hovering over him with a concerned look in his face.

"Father", the young prince breathed and he was awarded with a relieved smile. "Mother, I saw her-"  
He couldn't finish the sentence as his voice broke.

"She's in the castle", his father backed a few steps and Arthur recognised the tiny cottage where he'd waken earlier. "The queen sent for her, but before she left she wanted me to make sure that you got something to eat."

Arthur closed his eyelids with a sigh filled with relief, so she was still there.  
"Well, are you going to eat or do you want your old man to put up with your mothers anger?"

The blond man smiled and rose from the bed, his back feeling stiff after sleeping for so long on the thin mattress.  
He had to mind his head if not wanting to hit it in all the kettles and pans that where hanging from the wooden roof.

As he placed himself at the table, Uther gave him a bowl with hot soup.  
"Wait a minute", Arthur said as he swallowed the first spoonful. "The queen you said? Who?"

It wasn't until then he saw the scruffy clothes that his father wore.  
So he wasn't king anymore and his mother was no queen.

He swallowed; so his wish actually did come true; _he was no prince._  
Uther raised his eyebrows where he sat on the other side of the table.

"You must have been very ill, boy", he said as he looked at his son with worried eyes.  
"Do you not remember Camelot's Queen and High Priestess Morgause?"

Arthur coughed so he wouldn't suffocate by all the soup that he'd just tried to swallow.  
_"She's our queen?"  
_

* * *

_Thank you, thank you, thank you for reviewing this story! It means the world for me!_  
_I'm sorry that this part was so short, but if you all leave a long review; I'll continue as soon as possible._  
_So, what do you think of this story? Please let me know! I can promise you that more is to come!_  
_Hugs, Jenn_


	5. chapter two, part two

____

_Chapter two; part two_

Title; _It doesn't matter what you wish - you'll never cease being who you are  
_  
Author: _JennnyJ_

Pairing(s): _Arthur/Guinevere, Guinevere/Lancelot, slight Merlin/Morgana and perhaps some Merlin/Freya_

A.N. All the characters belong to BBC, I'm just borrowing them for a while

_

* * *

_

When Arthur had finished his supper it was too dark outside to go exploring so he stayed inside with his father and waited until Ygraine came home.  
"Arthur, what are you doing up this late? You need your sleep to get better", his mother banned with a tired look in her eyes as she placed her deep blue scarf on a hook.

"The queen wanted a new dress, something she could wear when the King returns."  
Uther nodded where he sat by the fire.  
"It is an honour to work for our queen", he said, placing some wood in the dying flames.

"You should be proud."

Arthur couldn't help smiling as he heard his mother click her tongue of dissatisfaction.  
"Well, it would be more honourable if I didn't have to do it all by myself. And she wanted it finished within three days – I can't make a masterpiece with so little time", she said walking towards Arthur to place a cold hand upon his forehead.

"Well, it is good to see that you are recovering. Tomorrow, you'll see Master Gaius and thank him for his kindness."

Arthur nodded and asked if she needed something. He could climb a mountain for her if that was what she asked for.  
"It's okay dear, now go to bed. I have to talk to your father"  
He nodded once again and returned to the bench he never would call a bed and before he fell asleep Arthur could hear his parents hushed voices as they argued about something.

..  
_Once again, he found himself lying upon a hard bench.  
He tried to sit up but he was glued to the spot. As he tried not to panic, he could hear a heart ripping scream and a voice that called his name over and over again.  
"Who is responsible for this?" The voice asked but he was only rewarded with silent. "Arthur, Arthur"  
_..

"Arthur", he sat up with a gasping breath, he could feel how the sweat ran down his neck.  
Ygraine stood by the door, looking at him with concerned eyes. "Are you okay my dear, you are not feeling worse are you?"  
Arthur who didn't want to spend another day stuck in this so-called-bed shook his head as he rose to the floor. "No mother, I'm fine."

"Then I suspect you pay Master Gaius a visit before doing your chores"  
His mother didn't wait for an answer but left the house.  
"My chores?" Arthur grumbled as he grabbed a piece of bread before he also left the house.

He smiled as the usual sounds of Camelot reached his ears. He could hear the hammering from the blacksmith, the callings from the market and the chattering of the citizens.  
"Excuse me, old man", he said to a beggar who sat a few meters from his house. "Do you know where I can find Master Gaius this time of the day?"  
The beggar stared at the piece of bread in the young prince's hands and didn't answer.  
Arthur saw where he looked and sighed.

"If I give you this, can you then answer my question?"  
The man nodded and gave him a toothless smile as he accepted the bread.  
"I saw him walk down to the market just a few seconds ago", he said with a hoarse voice and Arthur thanked him before making his way down to the market square.

"Master Gaius!" He called as he saw the familiar back of the old court physician. "Master Gaius!"  
The old man turned around, one of his eyebrows raised as he searched for whoever it was calling for him.  
"A young Arthur", he said with a small smile. "How are your fever?"

"Gone as much as I know", Arthur said with a laugh. How odd it felt talking to his old friend as if they were strangers for one and another. "Where do you have Merlin?"  
The old man looked at him with confusing eyes.  
"Merlin? Who is Merlin?" He asked and Arthur could feel how his heart started to sink.  
"You don't know who he is?" His voice was low. "Merlin, he is your nephew, the magician?"

Gaius shook his head with a stiff smile.  
"I'm sorry, you must have mistaken", he said, looking towards the great Castle of Camelot. "No commoner can be a magician and still live behind these walls. They who used to live here have all been banned for making a threat against Camelot's thrown."

Arthur looked at him with disbelief in his eyes.  
"I thought that having a magician as Queen would make it easier for those who practised it", he said.  
"Nah, the only ones allowed to practise magic are royals and those will be tutored by the Queen herself. She think she cannot trust us commoners", the court physician said before he shook his head.

"If you excuse me, I have to go now. Nice talking to you Albin."

And with that he walked away and left Arthur standing in the middle of the crowded market.  
"I have to find Merlin", he said to himself as he made his way back home. But as he stood with his hand on the doorknob, he could hear the hammering from the blacksmith's house and a soft smile took place upon his lips.

"But before I do that", he said to himself. "I'll see to Guinevere."  
As he walked towards the tiny cottage he could feel how his heart started to beat faster and his fingers were longing to feel the softness of her dark skin.  
But when he knocked on the door, he wasn't welcomed by the one he expected. He could feel how his jaw fell and he stared at the man with disbelief in his eyes.

"Lancelot?" He asked, his voice filled with hurt as he could feel how his heart broke into thousand pieces.

So he was with her. And she was with him.  
"Lance, who is it?" He could hear Guinevere's soft voice calling from the cottage, making it ache in his bosom. The dark haired man looked at him with thoughtful eyes.  
"It is the Pendragon's bastard", he called back, a stiff smile playing upon his lips.

"Perhaps he wants to try becoming a knight. Didn't you get enough last time?"  
Arthur frowned, feeling how his body filled with hatred he did not think he ever would feel against the young man he had seen as his equal.  
"No", he said through his teeth, immediately turning back into his old, fiercely self.

"I didn't get enough. This time I'll beat you and when I'm done with you, you will ask for mercy."  
Lancelot laughed.  
"That would be a sight, meet me at the field within an hour", he turned around and was about to shut the door. "If you haven't changed your mind until then, I mean"

Arthur gritted his teeth and returned home without answering.  
He wouldn't let Guinevere be with such a pig as Lancelot, he thought as he searched through the cottage for a sword, his heart beating and his hands shaking, she was worth better than that.

* * *

_You guys have no idea how much your reviews means to me! But you should all know that I've decided to participate in this years NaNoWriMo, so it might take a while before next chapter is out. (But who knows, if you leave me loads and loads of long reviews, I might sit down and write another chapter before my holiday is over)  
The ones who leave a review will be rewarded with virtual chocolate cookies (and yes, it is with loads of chocolate pieces in it)  
Hugs, Jenn_


	6. chapter three, part one

____

_Chapter three; part one_

Title; _It doesn't matter what you wish - you'll never cease being who you are  
_  
Author: _JennnyJ_

Pairing(s): _Arthur/Guinevere, Guinevere/Lancelot, slight Merlin/Morgana and perhaps some Merlin/Freya_

A.N. All the characters belong to BBC, I'm just borrowing them for a while

_

* * *

_

Arthur didn't feel nervous as he stepped out on the field, with the sword in his hand he felt contained. As if he belonged there. He shut his eyelids for a second, embracing the power that floated through his blood.  
"Look at him, acting as a royal", one of the knights said with a laugh and Arthur sent him a dark look.  
Sir Edwin. He had never liked that guy, if it wasn't for his skills with the bow and the fact that his father also had been a knight, Arthur would never have made him one.

"So you dared to come", Lancelot said as he stepped out in front of him, his dark hair gathered in a small ponytail at the neck.  
Arthur didn't answer; he just swung his sword and placed himself in position.  
Lancelot's grin widened as he did the same.  
"You have three minutes", he said and Arthur stopped to think. He moved by instinct.

This Lancelot wasn't as the old one, Arthur declared as he blocked a blow. This one had become lazy, thinking that he could win every fight with his skills, not expecting to get any competition. The knight's honour that had once filled every part of him had faded away.  
As Arthur stood over him, pressing the cool steel against his bosom, he didn't see Lancelot.  
This young man was a stranger to him.

"I think I won", he said through his teeth and backed off, offering him a helping hand which Lancelot ignored; his face red with anger.  
"Do not think you are one of us now", he shouted angrily as he rose to his feet. "It will take more than that to become a knight of Camelot!"  
Whispers started to spread among the other knights and Arthur saw how they exchanged confused looks, surely this wasn't how it used to be.

"Sir", one of the knights stepped forward, his forehead wrinkled. "He won, by the rules of Camelot that makes him a knight. You cannot -"  
"Shut it Sir Leon", Lancelot gave him a dark look which made the young knight bow before he stepped back. Arthur sent him a thankful look as he smiled. It was good that not everyone had changed. Lancelot clutched his jaws and turned back to Arthur.

"You can become a novice", he said and a smirk formed upon his lips as he raised his voice. "Start with mocking out our stables and polish our boots."  
Arthur glared at him and turned around without the slightest bow before he marched away with the steps of a royal. From the corner of his eye he could see Guinevere who had been watching the fight and as their eyes met she smiled at him.  
He returned her smile and for a second, it felt as if he was Prince Arthur again.

"Pendragon!"  
He had almost reached the market as he heard the familiar voice and turned around to meet Sir Leon's wide smile.  
"I'm glad you bet him", he said and stopped before him, the wind whipping thorough his golden hair. They had been friends as long as Arthur had known him, the only knight that dared to speak up to him when he believed different about his decisions.  
"Thank you, Sir Leon", answered Arthur and continued to walk with the knight at his side. "How is he as your leader, Lancelot I mean?"

There was a moment of silence as his old friend seemed to think of how to describe him.  
"Well", he said and stopped at one of the market stands. "He is a good fighter and knows how to train us, but he is not built of leader material. If Camelot would have to go to siege, I don't know how he would take us through it."  
Arthur smiled vaguely, remembering how it was when Cenred tried to attack Camelot not that long ago. Then his mind showed him the picture of another old friend; one with a goofy smile and friendly eyes, one who made sure that his prince would be able to have his favourite breakfast during a siege. The only servant he ever known that had followed his master to battle, who had stood by his side facing an angry dragon. The only one stopping him from going mad when everything seemed dark.

"Do you, by any chance", Arthur said, lost in his thoughts. "Know a young boy, only a few years younger than you and me, named Merlin?"  
Sir Leon shook his head.  
"I have to go", Arthur excused himself with a bow and ran towards the stables. He knew where to find him. He had been there once, three years ago. Ealdor.  
Without asking, he borrowed a brown horse from one of the knights and started to lead it through the many streets and lanes of the city.

"Arthur, where are you going?"  
His mother stood by the market with a confused look in her beautiful eyes. Arthur smiled as he felt how a warmth spread through his body just by seeing her, so filled with life.  
"I have to find someone", he said and jumped on to the horse. "I'll be back before you miss me, I promise."  
"Arthorious!" She shouted after him but he just laughed with his arms lifted from his body, the wind whipping through his hair. He was free and he was going to find his friend. His shout echoed over the fields and for the first time in his life, he didn't feel bound to anything or anyone.  
He was his own.

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_Okay, I'm sorry this part was so short and not that good written but hey, It is a new chapter! WinkWink.  
Please oh please, leave a review! I feel how I'm getting more and more tired of this story and right now, your reviews is the only thing making me wright.  
/Yours; Jenn_


	7. chapter three, part two

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_Chapter three; part two_

Title; _It doesn't matter what you wish - you'll never cease being who you are  
_  
Author: _JennnyJ_

Pairing(s): _Arthur/Guinevere, Guinevere/Lancelot, slight Merlin/Morgana and perhaps some Merlin/Freya_

A.N. All the characters belong to BBC, I'm just borrowing them for a while

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_

Arthur set camp for the second night and whilst he was preparing his dinner, a rabbit cub, he thought about what he would say to Merlin when he reached Ealdor.  
'Hi, I'm Arthur, you won't believe me when I say this but once I was crown prince of Camelot and you was my servant, I might have been kind of rough on you but we were great friends – and well, now I want your help.'

Arthur sighed and threw a branch onto the fire.  
"And what do you want help with?" He asked himself. "Why don't you just let him be, Arthur, surely his life is better in Ealdor where he can live with his mother."  
He sighed once more and started to cut the warm flesh of the rabbit, his stomach ached – he was hungry.

As the morning came and the bright sunbeams played over the glade where he'd slept, Arthur fed the horse and continued his journey.  
He had to stop twice to ask for the way but soon he saw the small village which was filled with life this time of the day.

He jumped of the horse and tied him to a tree before he started to walk along the main road.  
He could still remember the fight that had taken place here three years ago, when Canan and his men intimidated the people, he could remember how Merlin summoned the magical wind that scared them away. And he could still remember the sadness in the magician's eyes when his best friend, William, died because of Arthur and his stupidity.

For a long time, he stood before Merlin's door, not knowing if he should knock or not. Perhaps he should return home, let Merlin be. But, with a sigh, he had to remind himself – he wouldn't make it without Merlin. Without him, there would be no Camelot.

"Are you looking for someone, boy?" A dark voice asked and Arthur turned his head only to feel how his jaw fell. The dark hair, the blue eyes – he should have figured this out ages ago.  
"Balinor?" He asked, staring at the man who stood before him with firewood in his arms.  
"The dragon lord?"

"Yes, that's me", he said with raised eyebrows. "What do you want?"  
Arthur didn't know what to say. Why hadn't Merlin told him about this? When his secret was out he thought that they could share anything with each other – but he never said that his father was the dragon lord. The man, who, just as his best friend, died because of Prince Arthur's ego.

"I'm – I", Arthur stuttered. "I'm looking for Merlin."  
A smile took form upon the man's lips as he heard his son's name.  
"He is in the woods, I think, with his friend William", he said and nodded towards the front door. "Do you think you can help me with this, lad?"  
Arthur also nodded and opened the door; he could feel how his heart beat faster.

So Merlin was happy now, he had his father, his best friend. Everything was better this way.  
"If you hurry, I think you can catch up with them", Balinor said with a smile and Arthur found himself nodding once again before he started to run down the street towards the woods.

"MERLIN?" He shouted as he slowly spun around, his eyes searching through the glade. "ARE YOU THERE?"  
Suddenly, he could feel how someone pressed a wooden branch into his back.  
"And who are you?" A suspicious voice asked.  
Arthur smiled. "Well, I know who you are. William."

The branch disappeared and he couldn't help smiling.  
"_What_ are you? A seer?"  
Arthur laughed and turned around, his smile widened as he saw the young boy which once had given his life for him. "Where is Merlin?"

A branch cracked behind them and both boys turned their heads only to see how a thin boy with dark, messy hair tripped and fell to the ground with a loud 'Ouf'.  
"Merlin!" Arthur declared as he felt how an urge of laughing flooded over him, it looked as if he had missed Merlin more than he thought.

He reached him a helping hand which Merlin thankfully accepted.  
"You are a seer?" He asked with shining eyes as he got up on his feet.  
"Well-", Arthur shrugged. "Kind of, I suppose."  
"And what do you want with Merlin?" William asked with his arms crossed. "He is just an ordinary boy, why should you have some interest in him?"

"Oh, he is no ordinary boy", Arthur said with a teasing smirk. "I know a lot more than you think, you are not ordinary, are you, _Emrys_?"  
He could see how Merlin's eyebrows were drawn together as he heard the name that the druids once had given him.  
"I'm sorry, but I don't know any Emrys?" He said and Arthur spun around, staring at him. There was nothing but confusion in the boy's eyes and Arthur knew that he didn't lie, if he did, he would have sensed it miles away.

"But, _you_ are Emrys", he said with stuttering voice, he could see how a smirk formed upon Will's lips. "And you have this great destiny, you will help me become the King Camelot needs and-"  
"King? You?" Will spat and tried not to laugh. "I'm sorry, but you don't seem to be a royal, do you?"

Arthur felt how his mood fell. He was no Prince; Merlin didn't have to help him becoming King. Their destinies weren't entwined anymore.  
Merlin stood silent and looked at him with friendly eyes.

"Well, I don't know who you are or how you know me and my friend's names, I've never heard about a great destiny or the name Emrys. But perhaps you want some dinner?"  
Arthur shook his head and swallowed.

"No, thank you", he said with a weak smile. "This was a mistake, I'm so sorry."  
And with no other word, he turned around and went back to his horse; he could feel how dark clouds filled with misery gathered above his head.  
"This was all just a waste of time."

* * *

_Well, first of all I have to say that I'm so, so, oh so very sorry for this late update. I also have to apologize for my bad English and grammar, I hope it didn't disturbe your reading too much.  
And, I have to wish you a late Merry Christmas and A Happy New Year!_

(oh,andI',whatdoyouthinkaboutthat?)

Now, please oh please, if you want a new chapter - don't forget to leave a review!  
Hugs, Jenn


	8. chapter three, part three

**Chapter three; part three**

**Title:** It doesn't matter what you wish - you'll never cease being who you are

**Author:** JennnyJ

**Pairing(s): **Arthur/Guinevere, Guinevere/Lancelot, slight Merlin/Morgana and perhaps some Merlin/Freya

A.N. All the characters belong to BBC, I'm just borrowing them for a while

_First, I have to apology for this oh so late update, if it wasn't for cloudsbringsyouimaginations, I probably wouldn't have written this. (oh, and please - go and checkout her story 49 crap dates and 1 damn well good one, it's magical!) Now, I hope you'll enjoy the reading and forgive me for writing such a short chapter._

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_

As the night fell, Arthur camped in the same glade he had left the very morning.  
He yawned and sat down by the fireplace, lazily staring into the burning flames.  
"Now what?" He asked himself as he searched his bag for something to eat. "I suppose you have to accept that when you want to change something, you should just accept the changes."  
A branch cracked behind him and he immediately turned around, suddenly on his watch with his hand resting on the sword.

"Are you always talking to yourself?" Merlin asked with a wide smile as he stepped out of the shadows leading a dark horse behind him. "You know, most people would think you were mad."  
Arthur relaxed and a smile formed upon his lips.  
"What are you doing here?" He asked and tapped with his hand on the log next to him.  
Merlin returned the smile, tied his horse next to Arthur's and sat down beside him.

"Well, how did you know I wasn't normal?" Merlin asked with his eyebrows drawn together as he unpacked a freshly baked loaf. The smell reminded Arthur that he was hungry but he tried not to think of it, he smiled and glanced at his former manservant.  
"So your friend William doesn't know?" He shouldn't sound so happy about it, but at the same time it was nice to know that he and Merlin shared something that he and Will didn't.

Merlin shook his head and threw a small branch onto the fire.  
"Nah, I haven't told him yet", he said with a low voice. "I don't want him to think I'm a freak."  
Arthur was shocked by his words.  
"A freak? You can't change how you're born", he said. "Just look at me, I'm-"  
He stopped, realizing that it was nothing special with him. Not anymore. Now, he was just Arthur.  
"What about you?" Merlin asked as he offered him a piece of bread, Arthur accepted it before he shrugged.  
"Nothing, nothing at all."

There was a moment of silence as both boys stared into the flames.  
"How did you know my name?" Merlin's eyes were just as blue as he remembered them but he looked so young, as if he was still a small child. He didn't know about the darkness in this world, he was yet so undamaged.  
"A lucky guess?" Suddenly, Arthur didn't want to do this. It was wrong and selfish of him to drag Merlin back into Camelot's problems.  
He didn't know how many times he had thought this now, but Merlin was happy here, he truly was.

"Oh come on, it was more behind that than you want to admit", Merlin said with his eyebrow raised in a way that made him look very much like Gaius, even though they had never met in this life. "It was almost as you and I knew each other, as if we had a past and a future together."  
Arthur tried to laugh but it sounded more like a grunt as it left his lips.  
"Well-", he stopped and looked at him for a long time. "Do you really want to know?"  
Merlin nodded and he sighed before he pulled a hand through his golden hair.  
"I know it will sound weird, but you have to promise not to laugh, because I'm telling the truth."  
"You have my word."

So, Arthur started to explain. He told him about their first meeting, how Merlin saved his life and became his manservant. He told him about his father, the King, and how his mother, Queen Ygraine, died whilst giving birth to him. Arthur told him about his entire life and Merlin sat there during the whole story with a friendly look in his eyes as he listened carefully to every word.  
The darkness had surrounded them by the time Arthur was finished and they sat silently next to each other for a long time.

"So", Arthur said with a low, unsure voice. "Say something, please."  
Merlin stared into the fire, his chin placed in his hands.  
"You mean that Will died? You mean that almost everyone I cared about, like this druid girl you mentioned, my father – you mean all of them died in the name of Camelot? And all the time, I had to hide who I was so that your father wouldn't kill me for having magic?"  
Arthur bit his lip as he heard the confused pain in the dark haired boy's voice.  
"Yes"

"And now, you want me to return to this _Camelot_ with you?" Merlin asked as he rubbed his forehead with the palm of his hand. "Why?"  
Arthur shrugged as he tried to come up with something to say.  
"Well, truth to be told", he said and smiled vaguely, a slight blush making its way up his throat. "I miss you – _very_ _much_."

Merlin smiled and silently shook his head, he threw another branch onto the fire.  
"That sounded weird, didn't it?" Arthur asked with a grimace.  
"Yeah, it did", the dark haired boy said and looked upon the dark sky. "But at the same time, sitting next to you now, it feels as if I've known you my whole life."  
Arthur met his gaze and smiled.  
_Perhaps this would work out just fine._

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__

Now, please oh please, if you want a new chapter - don't forget to leave a review!  
Hugs, Jenn


	9. chapter four, part one

**Chapter four; part one**

**Title:** It doesn't matter what you wish - you'll never cease being who you are

**Author:**JennnyJ

**Pairing(s): **Arthur/Guinevere, Guinevere/Lancelot, slight Merlin/Morgana and perhaps some Merlin/Freya

A.N. All the characters belong to BBC, I'm just borrowing them for a while

_Oh my God, I'm SO easily flattered. I get this one, wonderful review from followthatcab and here I am, smiling like a fool whilst updating this story way sooner than I had planned. Darn. Anyway, I hope you like this and leave a long, long review ('cause you know how happy I become whilst reading it and as you see, it might lead to yet another chapter)_

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_

_Meanwhile in Camelot_

"Sewer, where are my dress?" Queen Morgause demanded as she watched herself in the mirror with her head leaning to one side. Ygraine stepped into the room with her head lowered; she carried the red beauty in her arms. "Here it is, my queen."  
Morgause stepped behind the screen and dressed herself, as she returned to the mirror she had a content smile playing upon her lips.  
"Truly it is beautiful", she said with a glance towards the maker. "You have talent."  
Ygraine blushed but curtseyed dutifully. "Thank you, m'lady"

The doors opened and a dark-haired beauty entered the room, her lips pressed together in disliking.  
"Sister", she greeted and Ygraine curtseyed yet again before she stepped back to the shadows.  
Morgause turned around and raised her eyebrows. "Yes, Morgana?"  
"I'm getting tired of this", she said and stopped before the great window. "I can't just sit here and watch-"  
Morgause raised a hand to silent her before she asked Ygraine to leave them. Dutifully, she did.  
As the sewer was out, Morgana continued:  
"That young boy, today", she said and crossed her arms. "Why did you send him to exile?"

"Sister, sister, sister", Morgause shook her head whilst she smiled. "He was a threat to us, didn't you see that?"  
"Because he wasn't of noble birth?" Morgana asked with a harsh voice. "When we got the thrown, you said that everyone with magic blood would become free – this isn't freedom the way I see it."  
"We can trust the nobles, they need us – but we know nothing of the farmers", Morgause sat down onto a thrown looking chair. "I bet this very moment they are plotting to end our reign."  
Morgana said nothing; she walked over to the window again.  
"I don't like that Lancelot guy", she said after a while, looking out over the dark courtyard. "He keeps giving me these _looks_."

Morgause just laughed and looked at her with bright eyes.  
"Well, he is a man", she said as if it would explain everything. "Anyway, have you seen to the decorations? King Cenred will be back in Camelot tomorrow and I want everything to be perfect."  
Morgana raised her head.  
"The last time I looked everything was as it should", she said. "I know about your plans, why are you wasting you time like this? Why build up this false facade for him?"

"Because the people think I love him, _he _thinks I love him, that fool. Cenred is weak, my love", Morgause poured some wine to herself. "He fights wars against weak kingdoms when we can do so much more than that."  
A cold smile played upon Morgana's lips. "And this is why you banish commoners with magic? So they won't stand in your way when you take over the world?"  
"When _we_take over the world, you mean", Morgause said and offered her a drink. _"We, sister."_

Arthur slowly rode behind Merlin and watched him in silent.  
"What are you thinking about?" He asked after a while, making the dark-haired boy turn his head so that he could see his goofy smile.  
"Much", he said and shrugged. "Right now, I'm trying to figure out why in earth you'd change your life like you did. I mean, from what you told me yesterday, the main reason - this Guinevere - isn't even yours."  
Arthur grimaced, remembering the warmth in Guinevere's eyes as she talked to Lancelot.

"Sorry, didn't mean to", Merlin said and blushed slightly as he saw what his words caused him.  
"It's okay", Arthur said with a low voice. "It's just; things are so very different now. I'm free in a way I've never been before. Now, I don't have to worry about what the people will think of me – if I want to, I can go to the closest tavern and drink 'til I can't stand without getting punished for it."  
Merlin laughed. "Well, that does sound like a tempting idea."  
Once they came back to Camelot, Arthur promised himself, getting drunk was one of the first things they'd do.

"Camelot is just over the hill", he said and pointed forwards.  
Merlin told the horse to go faster and Arthur couldn't help but laugh has he saw his stunned face when Camelot revealed itself in front of their eyes. "I know, she is beautiful"  
"I thought you were joking", Merlin said and jumped off the horse so that he could lead her down the small path. "But yes, she is a true beauty."  
Arthur smiled broadly as he also jumped off his horse so that they now walked side by side.  
"I can't believe this would all be yours", Merlin said, his eyes still fixed upon the great city. "But you gave it away for a girl that probably doesn't even know about your feelings for her."

Arthur didn't answer; he just clenched his jaws as he realized that he never had thought about it like that. He had chosen Guinevere before Camelot and she didn't even know it.  
He sighed and tapped the mane of his horse.  
"Well, perhaps we can change that", he said with a broad smile which Merlin returned.  
"Yeah, we can call it the quest for the fair Guinevere's heart", he said with his voice filled with excitement. Arthur raised his eyebrows and shook his head.  
"Nah, don't do that, okay?" He said and Merlin shrugged his shoulders before he gave way for his usual, goofy smile. Arthur couldn't help laughing as he playfully hit the back of Merlin's head. "I've missed you, friend."

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_Please oh please, leave a review?_


	10. chapter four, part two

**Chapter four; part two**

**Title:** It doesn't matter what you wish - you'll never cease being who you are

**Author:**JennnyJ

**Pairing(s): **Arthur/Guinevere, Guinevere/Lancelot, slight Merlin/Morgana and perhaps some Merlin/Freya

A.N. All the characters belong to BBC, I'm just borrowing them for a while

_Thank you so, so much for reviewing this story, you guys makes my day. But I'm sorry to say that school starts on monday and then I won't have so much time writing - therefor, it might take some time 'til next part is up. (if you don't review like never before, making me skip my homeworks to write instead)___

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"Arthur, where have you been?" Ygraine scolded him the moment Arthur opened the front door. The smile that had been playing upon his lips died and he looked like a small boy being caught doing something he really shouldn't. "You have been gone three days, _three days_ – I don't even know if you have recovered from your illness yet. Have you _any idea _how worried we have been?"  
Arthur didn't know what to do or what to say, he just stood there with a confused look in his eyes as he scratched the back of his head. "I'm sorry mother-"

Ygraine's face softened and she walked though the room to pull her son into a hug.  
"Do you never scare me like that again", she whispered with closed eyes. "You could have been attacked by bandits, creatures – god knows what."  
"I had Merlin to help me", Arthur said as he suddenly remembered something, he carefully ended the hug and turned his head with a smile. "That reminds me, mother, this is Merlin."

Ygraine raised her eyebrows as she studied the thin boy standing behind Arthur.  
"My goodness", she said and gave her son an angry look. "You could have warned me or something, the dinner-"  
"It is okay, miss", Merlin said with a gentle smile where he stood in the doorway, not daring to enter the house. "Don't think of that, I'll probably go to some inn."  
"Oh no you won't", Ygraine said hands on hips and returned to the kitchenette. "Please step in, Arthur why do you let him stand in the door like that? Help our guest."  
Arthur grimaced but nodded for Merlin to enter, the two boys sat down at the table and watched as Ygraine walked through the house, opening hatches and wickets whilst she mumbled to herself.

"Where is father?" Arthur asked to break the silence. "Is he very angry at me?"  
"He is at the pub", his mother answered and added some meat to the soup. "I'm so sorry Merlin, but I hope soup is okay for you? If Arthur had told me sooner I might have been able to cook something better."  
"It is perfect", Merlin said with a smile. "My mother always makes us this porridge-"  
Arthur tried not to laugh, coughing loudly instead. "Yeah, the porridge"  
Merlin raised his eyebrows with a confused look.  
"Have you tasted it?" He asked before he smiled, suddenly remembering that there was another time, another world, when the blond boy actually had lived at his place for a while. "Oh, I see."  
"We'll go and see Gaius later", Arthur said as Ygraine poured them some soup. "I think you'll like each other-"

The door opened and Uther Pendragon entered the little cottage, his eyebrows drawn together as he saw his son, he didn't say anything. He just walked over and kissed his wife hello before he sat down round the table.  
"Darling, this is Arthur's friend – Merlin", Ygraine said as she sat down beside him, a friendly smile playing upon her lips.  
"Will he be staying here for long?" Uther asked without looking at his guest.  
"You and your son are just as rude!" She scolded him with an angry look. "Merlin is our guest for as long as he wants to, if you think differently please leave the dinner table and do not return before you can act as an adult."  
Arthur tried not to laugh, filling his mouth with soup, as he saw the redness in his father's face before he grunted something that sounded like 'welcome' to their silent guest.  
Merlin didn't answer; he just smiled vaguely as he ended his soup.

Half an hour later, Arthur and Merlin where walking up the street towards Gaius' chambers.  
"So, what is he like?" Merlin asked as he pulled a hand through his messy hair and re-tied the handkerchief around his neck.  
"The Gaius I know is kind of giddy", Arthur answered and knocked on the physicians door. "But he is nice, he actually is."  
They heard a loud crash before the door opened to reveal Gaius with his eyebrow raised as he watched the two young men. "What is it? Is someone ill?"  
Merlin smiled and reached out a hand. "Hello, my name is Merlin – I believe you know my mother and father?"

"Merlin?" Gaius asked as he let them in so that he could take care of the broken piston and the potion that had spread over the floor. "I know no Merlin? Who did you say your parents were?"  
"Hunith and Balinor?" Merlin said as he reached him a broomstick. "From Ealdor"  
Gaius nodded slowly. "Yeah, I think I remember those names. What are you here for?"  
"He is here with me", Arthur said and smiled. "I wondered, 'cause the inns are quite messy, perhaps you have some room for him?"

"Ah, Albin", Gaius said with a surprised look. "How is the fever? Gone now, I hope?"  
"It's Arthur", Arthur said with a vague smile. "And yes, the fever is gone, thanks to you. Now, what about Merlin?"  
"What about him?" Gaius asked, turning to the black haired boy who looked in some books with shining eyes. "Is he ill?"  
"No, I'm not", Merlin looked up with a goofy smile. "I don't mean to be rude, but I wonder if you have a room for me? Perhaps I can give you a hand with the potion making?"  
"Potions?" Gaius asked and walked over to him. "Do you know anything about potions?"  
Merlin shrugged. "I'm a fast learner, I believe."  
Arthur who recognized the look in the physician's eyes grimaced and said that he had to go some errands for his mother, leaving the two men alone. He didn't feel like listening to potion making in two hours nonstop.

"Pendragon!"  
Arthur was walking over the courtyard when the voice called and he spun around to meet Lancelot's brown, judging eyes. "Where have you been? You have missed three days of stable mocking."  
"A knight do not mock out stables", Arthur answered calmly. "Why don't you send a servant to do that job?"  
Lancelot's eyes darkened as he stopped before him with his arms crossed. "As I told you before: you are no knight of Camelot."

"I won, didn't I?" Arthur asked with his head held high, feeling more and more like his usual, princely self. "I thought that was the only thing I would have to do."  
"The queen will have to accept it", Lancelot said with a frown. "Good luck with that, she is a busy woman, I doubt she would take time to talk to you. _A commoner_."  
"We'll see about that", Arthur said and walked past him back towards the castle. He would show him – before the day was over, he would be a knight of Camelot yet again.

Slowly he walked down the corridors towards the crown room, his blue eyes travelling over the familiar sights.  
"Hey you, no commoners in the castle", a bright voice called and Arthur turned around, immediately recognizing whom the voice belonged to.  
"Morgana", he said with a broad smile. "Why are you here? How are you? Your father lives, doesn't he?"  
She raised her eyebrows as she looked at him; there was a kind of fright in her eyes that everyone but Arthur would have missed. He knew her too well. "Who are you, how do you know about my father?"  
"Well, I-", Arthur didn't know what to say, he trusted Morgana with his life but could he tell her everything? "I'm Arthur Pendragon, we are like-"  
"Pendragon? The boy Sir Lancelot was talking about?" Morgana asked, a cold smile taking place upon her lips when talking about the knight. "Follow me, I'll take you to my sister."  
"Your sister?" Arthur echoed as he followed Morgana into the crown room where he found himself staring into a pair of bright eyes belonging to Camelot's queen. Morgause.

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_Leave a review? Again, I have to apology for the time that probably will pass before next chapter is out, but meanwhile you might want to read my other (finished!) Merlin story: Angel my guardian Angel. It is a story in which Arthur travels through time 'til todays London where Angel helps him. (crap at summaries, I know)  
Link: _


	11. chapter five, part one

**Chapter five:** **part one**

**Title:** It doesn't matter what you wish - you'll never cease being who you are

**Author: **JennnyJ

**Pairing(s): **Arthur/Guinevere, Guinevere/Lancelot, slight Merlin/Morgana and perhaps some Merlin/Freya

_I'm truly sorry I've not shown any interest in this story for a while but I red through it for a while and I found so many spelling and grammar misstakes and the story felt so lame so I actually didn't think anyone would be sorry if I didn't continue this - but thanks to cloudsbringsyouimagination this chapter was written, thankyou for your support! And I'm sorry this part is so short._

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"So, you've passed the test?" Morgause asked as she rose from the throne and walked towards Arthur with a cold smile. "A handsome young fellow, I have to say."  
Arthur did not move as Morgause stroke his chin with the back of her hand but he couldn't stop a shiver rushing through his body.  
"What do you think, sister?" She turned her head towards Morgana and he tried not to grimace, it couldn't be right. Something in must be wrong – Morgana and Morgause couldn't be sisters. _They just couldn't._  
"Well", Morgana watched him for a while, a smirk upon her red lips. "From what I've heard he fought really well and I believe that Camelot needs men like him."  
"So that is your wish, sister?" Morgause lifted an eyebrow "I should let him join the knights?"

"Yes, I think so", Morgana said, the smirk upon her lips widened. "That _Lancelot _would be furious."  
There was something in her eyes that sent a shiver through Arthur's body. This Morgana wasn't as the one he used to know, this one was colder.  
"So", Arthur cleared his throat and bowed his head. "How will it be?"  
"Right now there is too much going on, we cannot dub you until the end of next week", Morgause said and returned to her throne. "But until then you are welcome to attend the knights training."  
"My Queen", despite how wrong it felt, Arthur bowed both to her and to her _sister_, "The Lady Morgana."  
Morgana returned the gesture and followed him out.

Before Arthur could take his leave, she stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.  
"Tell me, boy", she said even though he was only two years younger than her, "what do you think about Sir Lancelot?"  
"My thoughts about him I dare not to speak because they are anything but friendly", he said without meeting her gaze. "I do not think that is what you want to hear, my lady."  
"But there you are mistaking", Morgana said and looked over her shoulder before she dragged him with her to a more private place. "This Lancelot won't leave me alone, no matter what I say or do – I do not like him and my sister won't listen to me."  
Arthur frowned – why would Lancelot ever do anything like that?  
"You are the Lady Morgana – you shouldn't need the Queen to make people you do not like back off", he shook his head, what could have happened to her making her need others approval before taking action? She'd never been like this before – she has always been very independent.

"I know", she said through her teeth and turned her head so that she could look through the window. "But I thought – if Lancelot saw me with someone other, someone like you, he might give up?"  
Arthur couldn't help but laugh, making her eyes darkening.  
"So you want me to start courting you?" He asked as if it was the joke of the year. "God, Morgana – I cannot do that!"  
"Why not?" She asked, clearly upset. "You and I have no bond to each other and this would just be a game – to make Lancelot keeping his dirty hands off me."  
Arthur's expression darkened.  
"What do you mean?" He asked. "Have he forced himself upon you?"  
He couldn't believe it, he'd thought that perhaps Lancelot had just said some inappropriate words, looked at her longer than he should – things like that. Never would he imagining something like this. How could he do this? How could he break everything a knight stands for? How could he break Guinevere's heart? It wasn't like him.  
Morgana didn't answer; her face red of embarrassment. "So, will you help me?"  
Arthur nodded. "Just tell me when and where."  
And for the first time in this world, he saw her smile of happiness.

Merlin walked through the castle, admiring every statue and furniture on his way to Gaius' patient.  
After asking two guards for the way he found himself standing outside the Queens resident.  
Quite nervously he knocked on the door before waiting for an answer.  
There came none so he knocked once more.  
As five minutes had passed and no one asked him to enter he tried to open the door just so that he could leave the potion on the Queens table and then go.

Carefully he stepped in and for a moment he couldn't do anything but just standing there and stare at the beauty of the room – all the mirrors and paintings.  
Suddenly remembering himself, Merlin walked over to the dinner table and as he placed the potion onto the desk he glimpsed some papers filled with names.  
With a look over his shoulder he picked up one of the papers and studied it closer, it appeared to be a list of sorcerers in the surrounding areas. He wrinkled his forehead and tried to memorise as many names as possible – he must talk to Arthur about this.

* * *

_Please leave a review and I'll try finnish the last ten chapters as soon as possible. You readers are magical and I never want your words to end.  
Hugs, Jenn _


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